2nd autobiography

This is the first week of the semester. This term I will take 5 classes: Int’l Finance, Corporate Finance, Int’l Payment, Bank Management and Vietnamese society in transition. I’m thinking of taking one more class (Business Communication) as many say that it’s pretty useful and easy to get high score. Plus, after skimming through the textbook, I figured out that it was quite interesting. These next 4 months would be my hardship ever, though. I need straight A to please my ambition as well as my transcript.

My first week back to school doesn’t have many things to say. Actually, I don’t like the way the professor of Bank Management and Corporate Finance teaches and treats us. She speaks English terribly. Trying to understand what she says is the centre of the problem. In addition, she always expects us things she never does. She asks us to come to class on time, but she doesn’t. Why the professor has that kind of privilege? It isn’t fair. Up to now, the only class seems to appeal me is Int’l Payment.

I’m so sad to find out that a friend of mine takes me for granted. He’s such a clever guy. He merely calls me just when he needs me. Sometimes I just want to neglect him but I don’t want to be rude to him. Well, how would I treat him from this moment on? I see an arrogant trait in his personality, occasionally. But he wisely knows how to bury it inside. Sometimes he makes me feel that he trusts me, he wants to share part of his secrets with me. He calls me on the spot to have coffee, to eat, to hang out with him. I hate it. Never would I accept his invitation again unless he informs me in advance. `Who the hell he thinks he is??? He thinks who I am??? I guess the best thing I can do at this moment is to stay away from him. But I don’t care much about that, he’s just one of my normal friends, just forget him and everything he’s done to me. That would be good for him and me.

I’m pretty sensitive. I keep my secrets inside my mind. Even small things would make me think of lots of things. Honestly, these days I’ve been sad about my boyfriend. He promises me a lot, yet he does little. I don’t know whether to trust him anymore. I don’t care what other people are saying about him or his rumor, but after I myself have witnessed what he'd done recently, I don’t think I should keep having faith in him. Even though I felt guilty when I foraged around his emails, it’s better to protect myself from falling down before he kicks me out of his life. I knew what he was doing behind my back. It was a clumsy moment for me. I’ve never been nasty like this. I didn’t know what to do, I quietly sat on the desk starring at the laptop. In the world of lies, he is the best liar!!! I don’t want to let him know. I don’t want us to be in quarrels. We had enough fights. I’m tired of argument, of thinking of him. I pretend that there is nothing happen. However those messages brought us apart without question. They were not the only reason, but rather the motivation for me to see his real personality. I don’t want to talk to him, to see him anymore. I think I’ll go single!!!

Yeah, a long distant relationship needs trust. But that’s not enough. I need to know who he is. Who can guarantee that he’s not changing when he’s living in a different world? Ok, I let him do what he wants. He always tells me that “I’m living in the US but I’m not Americanized, I’m still a Vietnamese”. But I have had a sense that he’s Americanized gradually. There’s nothing wrong with being Westernized, but can he just stop saying that “I’m still a REAL Vietnamese guy”, “I promise I will do this, I will do that”, and then behind my back, he’s behaving differently from what he promises? “Just keep chatting with your friends, flirting other girls… to have more fun, more memories before you’re dead as you wish, honey!” It’s stupid to totally trust in boys’ words. I’ve stumbled to form this relationship. I just want to take my mind off these frustrating things. That's why I'm engrossing myself in hanging out with my friends.

Luckily, I have many friends around me. I have spent most of my time hanging out with UC students. It is really funny and amazing. Last Friday, we visited the Friendship Village. It’s 4 or 5 years I haven’t joined in that kind of activities. The last time I went to the Friendship Village was when 6 years ago. The Village has changed a lot, compared to it was 6 years ago. It was such a worthwhile event to attend. And then we walked around the Night Market, I helped them bargain. It was wonderful. Bargaining is a must if you want to buy things in Vietnam. Without bargaining, you will have to buy it at an unreasonable price. The next day some UC students with me kept on shopping. I felt sorry for Chanh and Yuan, they had to wait for girls to buy things without complaining  My happy Saturday stopped at the Guest house. We also had a really really lovely night there. We talked a lot, played horsy, killer (it’s different from what I’m playing) and bull-shit. Maybe I’m not good at the bull-shit game )) no one believed me =)) Mindy said that I had to try more to be a good liar =)) I still remember the way Chanh dealt with his blotchy body (because he drank a lot). He's so cute :)) We slept at 2:30 and got up at 9:35 to go to the Museum of Vietnam Ethnology. So tired!!! Then again, we walked around the Old quarter to eat.

I love spending my time with them. I know that we’ve just become friends for quite a short time, but they are all nice and cute. Miss you guys, wish that I could stay with you.

PS: I’m in a quarrel with my boyfriend.